Last post of 2020 : THE WORST YEAR OF MY LIFE & I survived

 2020 brought me so much pain and suffering, by far the most painful year I've ever had much worse than the last 10 years . After finding out my grandma had a few months left. I did many things that proved how strong I was. I saw myself as the most extroverted introvert. I knew I was different from everyone my whole life. Some people would say stuff like how irrational I make things turn, They say I'm more fearful than most , I kinda disagree and agree but the difference is that I've been in and out of hell my whole life. Life didn't come with instructions . The road to recovery isn't easy. There are days I'm optimistic or pessimistic or both. I found it difficult yet easy to be vulnerable when I was in hell , I had to be vulnerable so I could get out of the darkness. I came out as Genderfluid Non binary in June and I applied for my job and got accepted. Around when I came out I decided to start doing weekly vlogs on my youtube channel and I doing pretty well with them but stopped for a while because my grandma passed away and I fell into a really dark hole that was really hard to get out of . I had to go to a hospital because of my depression. Even after being in the hospital I went to a day treatment center. Throughout my road to recovery I have relapsed 3 times. My road to recovery is far from over. Anyway here is my version of a 2020 recap . 

January 

Jan 2nd: My grandma's last birthday before passing away on September 2nd. 

First case of Covid-19 in the US

The death of Kobe and Gigi Bryant 

February

First american Covid-19 death 

My 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend Zachariah Bickham

Many shootings occured

March

State math contest at Weber State 

Massive Coronavirus Surge and Lockdown begins

Many Covid -19 updates

April

Schools Won't return in person until September 2020

Shootings in Lebanon

Students are stressed out and everyone is stressed out 

Toilet paper and other shortages due to Covid-19.

May

My 17th birthday

Masks become required

Memorial day weekend with extended family

Grandma's cancer is terminal

June

I came out as Non binary , Genderfluid, and Bisexual

Grandma starts becoming weaker

BLM protests

I got my first job at Arctic Circle 

An uncle on my dad side lost his battle with depression

July

Started working at Arctic Circle

Violence surges worldwide

Got 500 likes on coming out tiktok 

https://www.tiktok.com/@haydenv0ss/video/6860243309848268038?lang=en&sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6905137745574217221&is_from_webapp=v1

August

Senior year started

California fires and gender reveal started a fire

Grandma is bedridden

September

Grandma passed away on 9/2/2020

I almost died at bear lake

I shaved my head bald

Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away

October

I was in a mental hospital for 12 days

More Coronavirus updates and surges

Masked halloween

Went to fear factory with Best friend

November

I relapsed

Traumatizing thanksgiving

2nd Coronavirus surge

Biden wins

December

Made amends with a frenemy then breaks friendship with someone really toxic

I went IOP

Stay at home orders on Xmas


This year was definitely the worst year of my life and I'm glad 2020 is over. There aren't enough words to say about 2020. 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkKW3vjQ4dfnwn-zRR5wFgg




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